2018. The year I started writing again. The year I discovered that I had the capacity to be a workaholic. The year I visited one of my dream destinations and saw my favorite Christian band in person. 2018 is also the year this stoic tita cried buckets of tears. I had my share of joys and disappointments but I will remember this year for the many lessons I learned from family, friends, and Korean shows. Haha!
So here goes, not necessarily in the right order.
1. Sleep is important.
A good night’s sleep makes a difference in concentration, productivity, and overall mood. I find that when I lack sleep, I lose my focus and I make unwise decisions. So, sleep, and rest in general, should not be taken for granted.
2. It’s okay to be vulnerable and admit weakness.
It’s not okay to always keep it all in. I learned this the hard way when I bottled up my problems in an effort to look strong… until I broke down. I learned that it’s totally fine to share your problems with other people and get that emotional release from time to time.
3. Giving up control is not a sign of weakness but of humility.
Even the best fall down sometimes, as the song goes. There are times when the best course of action is to let go, surrender, and let God take control of the situation. He knows best.
4. Words are powerful.
Words can kill, words can breathe life. Words can discourage, words can empower. Words can move. I started being careful with my choice of words and being a little more generous with encouragement and I saw how it made a difference in someone else’s day.
5. Showing up is at the core of maintaining friendships, or relationships in general.
Instant messaging has its merits; I think it’s great that we can easily check up on our friends whenever we want to. But all relationships require effort and taking the time to see people in person, whether it’s a quick coffee date or a whole day affair, means a lot. I would want my friends to do this for me so I also try to be present for them.
6. Friends are gold.
And you don’t need a lot of them. You just need the ones who are willing to stand by you even in your silliest moments, the ones who will call you out on your BS, the ones who will cry with and for you, the ones who show up (see #5).
7. Kindness always pays off.
To quote Brad Meltzer, “everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” It’s hard to be kind, especially when you’re going through something yourself but kindness is always rewarded, albeit not always instantly. But even without that motivation, being kind just feels good so why not do it?
8. Traveling alone is good… but not on your birthday.
One of my faith goals at the start of the year was to travel solo, something I haven’t done for the longest time, and I wanted to try solo traveling on my birthday. Doing this on my 30th birthday seemed like a great decision. Saying goodbye to my 20s while exploring a foreign land on my own — that seemed liberating. And it was. Except, it was also sad. I wandered and got lost a few times in rainy, cold Taipei and like a masochist, instead of cake, I had Ice Monster on my birthday. The rest of the trip was good, there were even great moments but I’ll probably not travel solo again on my birthday.
9. God honors hard work.
Colossians 3:23-24 is always a great reminder when I’m feeling lazy. 😂 And on extra sucky days, it’s encouraging to know that I am where I am because that’s where God wants me to serve Him, and that my labor will not be in vain.
10. There is joy in slowing down.
This was a lesson I learned early in the year and relearned in the busyness of the last quarter. Taking a breather matters, be it in the form of a slow brunch with friends, or wine night (with friends or alone), pausing to read one chapter of a book per day, or even 30 minutes of watching videos of cute cats and kids. Slowing down allows us to recuperate and enjoy moments that we might have missed otherwise.
11. Sometimes, you just really have to listen.
And without judgment. People just really need listening ears and prayers, and sometimes that’s enough.
12. Prayers may not always change your circumstances but it will always change you.
Prayer is powerful, but it doesn’t always work the way we want it to. Sometimes, the answers we get are not the ones we expected. But it will always, always change your heart. I thank the Lord for answering so many of my prayers this year but I have to admit that I learned more from the ones that were not answered, or were answered in unexpected ways.
13. Crying helps.
Crying is not always a sign of weakness. But crying is a natural way to release or reduce emotional stress. In my case, it’s cathartic. So go, and get a good cry.
14. Wallpapering and cleaning can be great forms of therapy.
So tita, I know. Lately, doing domesticated stuff has become comforting. Haha!
15. Sometimes, you just have to ask for what you want.
Knowing what you want, and asking for it, is not selfish. It’s being self-aware. It does take courage. Many of us are intimidated by the thought of expressing our needs to others but it doesn’t have to be. A lot of problems will be avoided if we’re just more honest and more open to the idea that not everyone has the time to guess what we’re thinking.
16. Waiting is a super skill.
An indispensable one, at that. Our seasons of sowing are not automatically followed by seasons of reaping. More often than not, what comes after is a loooooong season of waiting. And that’s fine. Because that’s where we learn. That’s where we grow. The answered prayers that had greater impact on me were the ones that I got months, even years after I started praying for it. Waiting is difficult. But it taught me patience and dependence on God’s plans.
17. It’s liberating to say no, but it’s also okay to say yes.
At least, in the context of choosing how to spend my time. 2017 was all about budgeting my time, energy, and resources. Saying no to stuff and to people who exhaust me empowered me. But I also realized that I was saying no a lot that it became unhealthy to an extent. So this year, I tried to strike a balance and I learned that I might have missed special moments and opportunities if I just kept saying no. All in moderation.
18. God’s timing is perfect.
Always. The greatest lesson I learned this year is that I know nothing and God knows everything. Just recently, one of my prayers was answered, a prayer I was about to give up on. When it finally came to fruition, I was speechless and moved to tears because I realized that if it happened sooner, I would have taken it for granted and maybe even took the credit for myself. I saw it clearly this time, that it happened in God’s perfect timing. I had no hand in it, and I’m better off because of that.
I close the year with a grateful and hopeful heart. I’m super excited to see 2019 unfold. Praying that you, whoever you are, are also excited about what the future brings. Happy New Year! 🎆
Special thanks to my best friend, Vinny, for the watercolor 2019 postcard 😊
