For the last 12 months, I have abandoned this blog for a variety of reasons. At first, I was too caught up with work. Then I fell into this long period of sadness. This blog was meant to chronicle my travels and my reflections… but I haven’t traveled since May 2019 and last year, I was too uninspired and bitter to reflect on life. And so I shelved this, along with my Instagram feed that was also meant to curate my travels.
Three months into quarantine, it dawned on me that things are not going back to normal anytime soon. I’ve resolved to not travel for the next 6 months, maybe even until the first half of 2021. I’ve come to accept that I won’t be able to write about the things I originally wanted to write about (travels, eating out, adventures with friends). If I wait for things to return to normal, I might not be able to write anything until we get a vaccine.
I have so much pent-up creative energy but I didn’t know where to channel it. Like most people, the pandemic and the quarantine also made me feel anxious, frustrated, angry, and sad. But it also seemed selfish to stay that way; I was so blessed to still have a stable job and to be with my family while many were suffering losses. So I coped by doing all sorts of things at home (except baking, I have given up on that a long time ago). I worked, I brewed coffee, I *tried to* cook, I joined online worship services, I kept in touch with my close friends, and I still had time to fangirl and make the most out of my Netflix subscription. I was as productive as the situation allowed me to be but my heart was longing for something more. A few nights ago, I realized that that “more” was writing. Sure, I was writing for work. I even wrote stuff for a travel site. But I longed for a space where I can freely express myself through words, where I can share in detail the things that I love doing and the things that inspire me, a space I can make my own.
I also realized that I was waiting passively by not writing. The new normal made me feel defeated. Fortunately, God has made me realize that in this waiting season, I don’t have to put my life on hold. I can grow, I can allow myself to do learn new things, and do things that I wouldn’t have gotten to do otherwise. Instead of thinking of the last few months as time lost, I can think of those as time repurposed.
So here I am, returning to this blog, finally writing something that’s not work-related. This is me trying to cope with the strange times we live in and me choosing not to waste the wait. For the next few days and weeks, I will try to retrace my steps, share what I have been up to these last few months, and record the days ahead. Along the way, I hope that I can inspire or help someone else. I hope my words can somehow lift up someone else’s spirits during these challenging times and maybe encourage you, dear reader, to also take back your time and allow yourself to live. ❤️
